Something happened a few weeks ago that made work incredibly difficult. Working on photos from home wasn’t bad but social media became impossible. I didn’t want to write about it because it wasn’t business related but it has become related by affecting the way I’ve run things these past few weeks.
Three weeks ago a friend passed away. We’ve had time to prepare because he was given a few months to live four or five years ago but that, that didn’t seem to help anyone. I honestly didn’t expect it to get to me very much. He was a great man, that’s not it, it’s just…it’s just hard to explain.
All of a sudden I didn’t want to talk to people or have anyone touch me. And I couldn’t focus on anything any more. Being happy – or at least pretending to be – by sharing photos on Facebook or Instagram and writing a blog post was hard to even wrap my mind around. For some reason I’ve also felt like I wasn’t close enough to him any more to be affected so strongly. So, I haven’t been saying much about it to anyone. But I know that’s kind of silly. And, to be honest, things still aren’t great for me. I’m not sure why exactly. I just can’t snap out of it. I’m pretty sure it’s by the grace of God that I’ve had the focus and strength to finish editing photos and to be present and professional while on location. It’s definitely not by my own strength.
I know I don’t have to say sorry for not being present on social media but, I am. I’m sorry that I haven’t been my usual self and that things like this happen to people. I’m sorry if you’re hurting and going through something right now. I’m sorry that life doesn’t seem fair sometimes and that there doesn’t seem to be anything we can do about it. Im sorry.
“Instead of asking ‘Why?’ try asking ‘What now?'” – Jeff Crozier (possibly in more elaborate words but that’s how my brain translated it)